I am not a judgmental person. At least, I don't consider myself to be and I definitely try my hardest not to be. My friend base is very diverse - culturally, religiously, intellectually - and I love it that way. Now, granted, I'll admit to thinking your genitals should be cut off for intentionally harming a child (just as an example) and I judge you to be an ignorant jackass, but I'm quite comfortable in the thought that that judgment is warranted. I'm going to go ahead and take my self-exposure of my flaws a bit further and admit that when you try to make me believe what you believe, think what/how you think, dress how you dress, etc., etc., etc., I pretty much deem you to be a closed-minded, pushy and ignorant pain in my ass.
Let me back up... I've never taken well to people trying to cram things down my throat and/or force me to do/believe/say something that I didn't want to do/believe/say. I had organized religion crammed down my throat in high school. I lost 'friends' because I didn't go to their church(es) or they felt that I didn't believe exactly how they believed. The funny part is, they don't know what I believed and even to this day (and this goes for politics, too), very few people really do - and that's intentional. Losing friends is always tough but to lose 'friends' based on something so personal seemed to serve as a double whammy. I think the reason for that is that politics and religion are so controversial because our beliefs and ideals are based on personal experience. Every experience in our lives shapes who we are in every sense of the phrase down to the nitty-gritties. So, when someone comes out from their political/religious corner swingin' and telling us that we're wrong, we feel like our personal being - what makes us who we are - is being attacked...good enough reason to not talk about it in mixed company, don't 'cha think? :) But I digress...
To take my honesty one step further, adults who judge each other as wrong when their opinions differ also annoy me and I have a tendency to judge them (ironic to judge the judgmental, I know) as closed-minded. I'm a firm believer that for the most part, different doesn't always equal wrong; sometimes, it just equals different. When I see/hear adults arguing (not discussing - arguing) politics or religion (or even sports, for that matter), it always reminds me of kids picking on the kid who is different (usually for reasons that he/she can't control). For me, adults not growing up and accepting differences isn't much different and beyond that, it's a poor example for those watching your every move. I'm also a firm believer that hate begins at home; monkey see, monkey do. Whatever name you give it, it comes down to tolerance and understanding.
It took me a few years (and the loss of another good friend for at least the reason, possibly among others, that we differed pretty greatly in our political beliefs) but I've come to realize that the only person who really needed to know what I think/feel/believe about how we got here and what we're supposed to do/not do while we're here is me. Like I told those 'friends' from high school after they ambushed me on the religion thing one day - I'm a good person. I'm a good daughter, sister, friend, etc. (and now wife and mother). If your God/Jeebus really is up there sitting on clouds watching over anything and everything, He/She's a little confused by your behavior. If I understand the whole point of God/Jeebus, the overall message was, for the love of Pete, people - just be good to each other. The message was not, "Shame/guilt/trick/threaten others into following what you do/say/believe simply because you think it secures your place in the happy eternal resting place."
I think what appears to be true for me is that due to the fact that we all have our own back story and expeirences, we're going to have different views on life and because of that, I don't think that there can be one absolute answer for everyone on this earth. We're going to have different views on life based on where we're from and how we were treated by our parents and siblings and what our life was like growing up and so on and so forth. It's those expeirences that shape those views and since none of our experiences are the exact same, how can our views be carbon copies of each other? They can of course be similar - but I just don't think they can always be the exact same.
Granted, I don't live my life the way I do because someone who may or may not be up on the aforementioned clouds told me to - I do my best to help others when they need it; I don't rape, murder and/or pillage small villages (or large ones, for that matter). And the reason for that is because I have a firm grasp on the basic rules of humanity. The Golden Rule is a favorite of mine; and I firmly believe in Sister Karma. But let's be honest - no one wants to feel like the social outcast, especially for such a personal reason. So, I played the game...and I guess I still do. I'll let whomever feels it necessary to judge me based on that character trait and/or assume what they will about my beliefs do just that - and I'll be quite content in that. Because while I'm still learning (which I think I/you always should be - otherwise, what are we doing here, but, that's for another post...), I feel like I have a pretty firm grasp on how my world functions.
One thing I can say that I think rings true overall, regardless of what you believe - you're better off focusing on yourself and fixing your own flaws than you are trying to change everyone else into what you believe they should be. Maybe if we all stop trying to change each other and just love each other for who and what we are, maybe the rest will fall into place. Maybe it will catch on to others who feel it necessary to recruit you into their corner (for whatever reasons they feel it necessary to do so) and maybe they'll turn the mirrors on themselves and focus on what makes them happy and what they need to function at their top level of performance. Now, I fully understand that most reasonable and rational people will at least try to understand where I'm coming from and/or maybe even agree with me. I fully recognize that I most likely couldn't walk up to an extremist (of any religion/political affiliation/sports team fan/mindset) and pitch this argument and have any success. I get that the extremists are a lost cause in this regard. But maybe if we get the rest of the for-the-most-part-rational world to comply, the extremists will kill each other out and problem solved...?
Regardless of who created us, who maintains us (which should be us, in my mind - again, from my limited understanding of Christianity, He gave us free will, correct?) and/or whom we might or might not meet when we reach the eternal beyond, I'm fairly certain that it takes all kinds to make the world go 'round.
Let me back up... I've never taken well to people trying to cram things down my throat and/or force me to do/believe/say something that I didn't want to do/believe/say. I had organized religion crammed down my throat in high school. I lost 'friends' because I didn't go to their church(es) or they felt that I didn't believe exactly how they believed. The funny part is, they don't know what I believed and even to this day (and this goes for politics, too), very few people really do - and that's intentional. Losing friends is always tough but to lose 'friends' based on something so personal seemed to serve as a double whammy. I think the reason for that is that politics and religion are so controversial because our beliefs and ideals are based on personal experience. Every experience in our lives shapes who we are in every sense of the phrase down to the nitty-gritties. So, when someone comes out from their political/religious corner swingin' and telling us that we're wrong, we feel like our personal being - what makes us who we are - is being attacked...good enough reason to not talk about it in mixed company, don't 'cha think? :) But I digress...
To take my honesty one step further, adults who judge each other as wrong when their opinions differ also annoy me and I have a tendency to judge them (ironic to judge the judgmental, I know) as closed-minded. I'm a firm believer that for the most part, different doesn't always equal wrong; sometimes, it just equals different. When I see/hear adults arguing (not discussing - arguing) politics or religion (or even sports, for that matter), it always reminds me of kids picking on the kid who is different (usually for reasons that he/she can't control). For me, adults not growing up and accepting differences isn't much different and beyond that, it's a poor example for those watching your every move. I'm also a firm believer that hate begins at home; monkey see, monkey do. Whatever name you give it, it comes down to tolerance and understanding.
It took me a few years (and the loss of another good friend for at least the reason, possibly among others, that we differed pretty greatly in our political beliefs) but I've come to realize that the only person who really needed to know what I think/feel/believe about how we got here and what we're supposed to do/not do while we're here is me. Like I told those 'friends' from high school after they ambushed me on the religion thing one day - I'm a good person. I'm a good daughter, sister, friend, etc. (and now wife and mother). If your God/Jeebus really is up there sitting on clouds watching over anything and everything, He/She's a little confused by your behavior. If I understand the whole point of God/Jeebus, the overall message was, for the love of Pete, people - just be good to each other. The message was not, "Shame/guilt/trick/threaten others into following what you do/say/believe simply because you think it secures your place in the happy eternal resting place."
I think what appears to be true for me is that due to the fact that we all have our own back story and expeirences, we're going to have different views on life and because of that, I don't think that there can be one absolute answer for everyone on this earth. We're going to have different views on life based on where we're from and how we were treated by our parents and siblings and what our life was like growing up and so on and so forth. It's those expeirences that shape those views and since none of our experiences are the exact same, how can our views be carbon copies of each other? They can of course be similar - but I just don't think they can always be the exact same.
Granted, I don't live my life the way I do because someone who may or may not be up on the aforementioned clouds told me to - I do my best to help others when they need it; I don't rape, murder and/or pillage small villages (or large ones, for that matter). And the reason for that is because I have a firm grasp on the basic rules of humanity. The Golden Rule is a favorite of mine; and I firmly believe in Sister Karma. But let's be honest - no one wants to feel like the social outcast, especially for such a personal reason. So, I played the game...and I guess I still do. I'll let whomever feels it necessary to judge me based on that character trait and/or assume what they will about my beliefs do just that - and I'll be quite content in that. Because while I'm still learning (which I think I/you always should be - otherwise, what are we doing here, but, that's for another post...), I feel like I have a pretty firm grasp on how my world functions.
One thing I can say that I think rings true overall, regardless of what you believe - you're better off focusing on yourself and fixing your own flaws than you are trying to change everyone else into what you believe they should be. Maybe if we all stop trying to change each other and just love each other for who and what we are, maybe the rest will fall into place. Maybe it will catch on to others who feel it necessary to recruit you into their corner (for whatever reasons they feel it necessary to do so) and maybe they'll turn the mirrors on themselves and focus on what makes them happy and what they need to function at their top level of performance. Now, I fully understand that most reasonable and rational people will at least try to understand where I'm coming from and/or maybe even agree with me. I fully recognize that I most likely couldn't walk up to an extremist (of any religion/political affiliation/sports team fan/mindset) and pitch this argument and have any success. I get that the extremists are a lost cause in this regard. But maybe if we get the rest of the for-the-most-part-rational world to comply, the extremists will kill each other out and problem solved...?
Regardless of who created us, who maintains us (which should be us, in my mind - again, from my limited understanding of Christianity, He gave us free will, correct?) and/or whom we might or might not meet when we reach the eternal beyond, I'm fairly certain that it takes all kinds to make the world go 'round.
Labels:
Life In General,
People,
Politics,
Rant and Rave,
Relationships,
Religion,
Wisdom
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