I like what she had to say. Uppity, Harvard snots...

Morning Edition, June 6, 2008 · If her books' sales are any indicator, there are probably hundreds of millions of Harry Potter fans round the world who'd give anything for a chance to hear from the books' author, J.K. Rowling. And hundreds of them turned out at Harvard University's commencement Thursday, where Rowling was the featured speaker.

But there was also a group of graduating seniors at Harvard grousing that Rowling wasn't worthy of the honor.

A reluctant public speaker, Rowling began her address alluding to the enormity of her task. "The first thing I'd like to say is thank you," she said. "Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honor. But the weeks of fear and nausea I've experienced at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight!"

With humor, and poise, Rowling went on to speak of the challenges she has overcome on the way to her success, and she extolled the power of imagination to help right wrongs around the world.

"Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand without having experienced," said Rowling. "They can imagine themselves in other peoples' places.

"We do not need magic to transform the world. We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already. We have power to imagine better.

"Her fans were giddy with delight. "She's a rock star!" exclaimed senior Ross Lipsteen, who like many in his class has read all seven Harry Potter books.

Senior Kevin Ferguson found Rowling "inspirational."

"She touched me definitely, without a doubt," says Ferguson. "I was crying a little bit. I tried to fight it but J.K. just brought it out."

But to other seniors, the guest of honor was less than magical.

"I think we could have done better," shrugged computer science major Kevin Bombino. He says Rowling lacks the gravitas a Harvard commencement speaker should have.

"You know, we're Harvard. We're like the most prominent national institution. And I think we should be entitled to … we should be able to get anyone. And in my opinion, we're settling here."

Rowling was chosen by Harvard's alumni. University President Drew Gilpin Faust applauded her selection, saying, "No one in our time has done more to inspire young people to … read."

Rowling follows a long line of heavies who've spoken at Harvard's commencement. In 1947, Secretary of State George C. Marshall used the platform to detail his "Marshall Plan" to rebuild Europe after World War II.

Since then, speakers have included such luminaries as Microsoft founder Bill Gates, U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, other heads of state, Nobel Prize winners, and scholars.

"It's definitely the 'A' list, and I wouldn't ever associate J.K. Rowling with the people on that list," says senior Andy Vaz. "From the moment we walk through the gates of Harvard Yard, they constantly emphasize that we are the leaders of tomorrow. They should have picked a leader to speak at commencement. Not a children's writer. What does that say to the class of 2008? Are we the joke class?"

But the grousing didn't sit well with the Harry Potter fans. "

That was a terrible thing to say! They're just a bunch of Muggles!" exclaimed 10-year-old Allister Beeson, borrowing a Hogwart term for ordinary folks who don't benefit from the gift of magic.

Beeson was one of many young people in the audience who skipped school to hear Rowling. He came in a Harry Potter Halloween costume, all the way from New York. He says Harvard seniors who have a problem with Rowling are actually the ones with the problem. He says they simply lack common sense.

"Phooey on them for saying she's not important. They just don't get it."

Older Harry Potter fans were similarly dismissive of the grumbling. To many, the complaints just prove that even Harvard graduates still have a lot to learn.

"They'll grow up," says 1983 graduate David Epstein. "They'll have a broader worldview and they'll understand that there are many, many ways to contribute. You know what they say — the freshman bring so much, and the seniors take away so little."

The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination

by J.K. Rowling

Speech Details

2008 Harvard University Commencement, June 5, 2008.

Copyright of J.K. Rowling, June 2008

NPR.org, June 5, 2008 · President Faust, members of the Harvard Corporation and the Board of Overseers, members of the faculty, proud parents, and, above all, graduates,

The first thing I would like to say is 'thank you.' Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honor, but the weeks of fear and nausea I've experienced at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. A win-win situation! Now all I have to do is take deep breaths, squint at the red banners and fool myself into believing I am at the world's best-educated Harry Potter convention.

Delivering a commencement address is a great responsibility; or so I thought until I cast my mind back to my own graduation. The commencement speaker that day was the distinguished British philosopher Baroness Mary Warnock. Reflecting on her speech has helped me enormously in writing this one, because it turns out that I can't remember a single word she said. This liberating discovery enables me to proceed without any fear that I might inadvertently influence you to abandon promising careers in business, law or politics for the giddy delights of becoming a gay wizard.

You see? If all you remember in years to come is the 'gay wizard' joke, I've still come out ahead of Baroness Mary Warnock. Achievable goals: the first step towards personal improvement.

Actually, I have wracked my mind and heart for what I ought to say to you today. I have asked myself what I wish I had known at my own graduation, and what important lessons I have learned in the 21 years that has expired between that day and this.

I have come up with two answers. On this wonderful day when we are gathered together to celebrate your academic success, I have decided to talk to you about the benefits of failure. And as you stand on the threshold of what is sometimes called 'real life', I want to extol the crucial importance of imagination.

These might seem quixotic or paradoxical choices, but please bear with me.

Looking back at the 21-year-old that I was at graduation, is a slightly uncomfortable experience for the 42-year-old that she has become. Half my lifetime ago, I was striking an uneasy balance between the ambition I had for myself, and what those closest to me expected of me.

I was convinced that the only thing I wanted to do, ever, was to write novels. However, my parents, both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my overactive imagination was an amusing personal quirk that could never pay a mortgage, or secure a pension.

They had hoped that I would take a vocational degree; I wanted to study English Literature. A compromise was reached that in retrospect satisfied nobody, and I went up to study Modern Languages. Hardly had my parents' car rounded the corner at the end of the road than I ditched German and scuttled off down the Classics corridor.

I cannot remember telling my parents that I was studying Classics; they might well have found out for the first time on graduation day. Of all subjects on this planet, I think they would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology when it came to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.

I would like to make it clear, in parenthesis, that I do not blame my parents for their point of view. There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you. What is more, I cannot criticize my parents for hoping that I would never experience poverty. They had been poor themselves, and I have since been poor, and I quite agree with them that it is not an ennobling experience. Poverty entails fear, and stress, and sometimes depression; it means a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts, that is indeed something on which to pride yourself, but poverty itself is romanticized only by fools.

What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty, but failure.

At your age, in spite of a distinct lack of motivation at university, where I had spent far too long in the coffee bar writing stories, and far too little time at lectures, I had a knack for passing examinations, and that, for years, had been the measure of success in my life and that of my peers.

I am not dull enough to suppose that because you are young, gifted and well-educated, you have never known hardship or heartbreak. Talent and intelligence never yet inoculated anyone against the caprice of the Fates, and I do not for a moment suppose that everyone here has enjoyed an existence of unruffled privilege and contentment.

However, the fact that you are graduating from Harvard suggests that you are not very well-acquainted with failure. You might be driven by a fear of failure quite as much as a desire for success. Indeed, your conception of failure might not be too far from the average person's idea of success, so high have you already flown academically.

Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.

Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had already been realized, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.

Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more to me than any qualification I ever earned.

Given a time machine or a Time Turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a check-list of acquisition or achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people of my age and older who confuse the two. Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone's total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.

You might think that I chose my second theme, the importance of imagination, because of the part it played in rebuilding my life, but that is not wholly so. Though I will defend the value of bedtime stories to my last gasp, I have learned to value imagination in a much broader sense. Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathize with humans whose experiences we have never shared.

One of the greatest formative experiences of my life preceded Harry Potter, though it informed much of what I subsequently wrote in those books. This revelation came in the form of one of my earliest day jobs. Though I was sloping off to write stories during my lunch hours, I paid the rent in my early 20s by working in the research department at Amnesty International's headquarters in London.

There in my little office I read hastily scribbled letters smuggled out of totalitarian regimes by men and women who were risking imprisonment to inform the outside world of what was happening to them. I saw photographs of those who had disappeared without trace, sent to Amnesty by their desperate families and friends. I read the testimony of torture victims and saw pictures of their injuries. I opened handwritten, eye-witness accounts of summary trials and executions, of kidnappings and rapes.

Many of my co-workers were ex-political prisoners, people who had been displaced from their homes, or fled into exile, because they had the temerity to think independently of their government. Visitors to our office included those who had come to give information, or to try and find out what had happened to those they had been forced to leave behind.

I shall never forget the African torture victim, a young man no older than I was at the time, who had become mentally ill after all he had endured in his homeland. He trembled uncontrollably as he spoke into a video camera about the brutality inflicted upon him. He was a foot taller than I was, and seemed as fragile as a child. I was given the job of escorting him to the Underground Station afterwards, and this man whose life had been shattered by cruelty took my hand with exquisite courtesy, and wished me future happiness.

And as long as I live I shall remember walking along an empty corridor and suddenly hearing, from behind a closed door, a scream of pain and horror such as I have never heard since. The door opened, and the researcher poked out her head and told me to run and make a hot drink for the young man sitting with her. She had just given him the news that in retaliation for his own outspokenness against his country's regime, his mother had been seized and executed.

Every day of my working week in my early 20s I was reminded how incredibly fortunate I was, to live in a country with a democratically elected government, where legal representation and a public trial were the rights of everyone.

Every day, I saw more evidence about the evils humankind will inflict on their fellow humans, to gain or maintain power. I began to have nightmares, literal nightmares, about some of the things I saw, heard and read.

And yet I also learned more about human goodness at Amnesty International than I had ever known before.

Amnesty mobilizes thousands of people who have never been tortured or imprisoned for their beliefs to act on behalf of those who have. The power of human empathy, leading to collective action, saves lives, and frees prisoners. Ordinary people, whose personal well-being and security are assured, join together in huge numbers to save people they do not know, and will never meet. My small participation in that process was one of the most humbling and inspiring experiences of my life.

Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people's minds, imagine themselves into other people's places.

Of course, this is a power, like my brand of fictional magic, that is morally neutral. One might use such an ability to manipulate, or control, just as much as to understand or sympathize.

And many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are. They can refuse to hear screams or to peer inside cages; they can close their minds and hearts to any suffering that does not touch them personally; they can refuse to know.

I might be tempted to envy people who can live that way, except that I do not think they have any fewer nightmares than I do. Choosing to live in narrow spaces can lead to a form of mental agoraphobia, and that brings its own terrors. I think the willfully unimaginative see more monsters. They are often more afraid.

What is more, those who choose not to empathize may enable real monsters. For without ever committing an act of outright evil ourselves, we collude with it, through our own apathy.

One of the many things I learned at the end of that Classics corridor down which I ventured at the age of 18, in search of something I could not then define, was this, written by the Greek author Plutarch: What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.

That is an astonishing statement and yet proven a thousand times every day of our lives. It expresses, in part, our inescapable connection with the outside world, the fact that we touch other people's lives simply by existing.

But how much more are you, Harvard graduates of 2008, likely to touch other people's lives? Your intelligence, your capacity for hard work, the education you have earned and received, give you unique status, and unique responsibilities. Even your nationality sets you apart. The great majority of you belong to the world's only remaining superpower. The way you vote, the way you live, the way you protest, the pressure you bring to bear on your government, has an impact way beyond your borders. That is your privilege, and your burden.

If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped transform for the better. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

I am nearly finished. I have one last hope for you, which is something that I already had at 21. The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children's godparents, the people to whom I've been able to turn in times of trouble, friends who have been kind enough not to sue me when I've used their names for Death Eaters. At our graduation we were bound by enormous affection, by our shared experience of a time that could never come again, and, of course, by the knowledge that we held certain photographic evidence that would be exceptionally valuable if any of us ran for Prime Minister.

So today, I can wish you nothing better than similar friendships. And tomorrow, I hope that even if you remember not a single word of mine, you remember those of Seneca, another of those old Romans I met when I fled down the Classics corridor, in retreat from career ladders, in search of ancient wisdom:

As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.

I wish you all very good lives.

Thank you very much.

Copyright of J.K. Rowling, June 2008

Source: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=91232541&ft=1&f=1001

I can't remember if I mentioned something about this in my 'Politics Schmolitics' post or not, but I've said it before in general conversation - if We The People are going to make any kind of difference, we're going to have to unite in our anger and compromise within our differences. Above all, we need to remember the blunders of our political representatives and trust our guts when we're in that voting booth. If we do nothing but sit back and complain about the state of the union (whether we voted or not) and continue to do nothing to fix what's wrong, we have no one to blame but ourselves and at some point we lose our right to complain. (I strongly believe that - and not just in politics.) Anywho, I like what this guy has to say.

Commentary: Illinois voters should blame themselves - By Kent Redfield

Special to CNN

Editor's Note: Kent Redfield is director of the Sunshine Project, a research project focused on the role of money in Illinois politics and on political ethics in the state. He is a professor emeritus of political studies at the University of Illinois -- Springfield. Before joining the faculty, he worked for four years as a member of the research/appropriations staff for the then-speaker of the Illinois General Assembly, who was a Democrat. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Kent Redfield.

SPRINGFIELD, Illinois (CNN) -- In the glow of his election victory in fall 2002, Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich stood on the stage at the victory celebration held in the steel mill where his father had worked and promised "reform and renewal," and an "end to business as usual."

He told a public weary of the scandal surrounding former Gov. George Ryan that they had voted for change and that he intended to bring that change.

Instead, Blagojevich is likely to go down in history as a ringing example of the corrupting influence of money in politics and the failure of Illinois voters to demand change.

Three years earlier he had been an obscure Chicago congressman concerned about losing his seat through redistricting. He formed a state political committee and began raising money. Much of his early money came from businesses in his old congressional district, particularly in the Chicago ward controlled by his father-in-law, Alderman Richard Mell.

Because of his huge war chest, Blagojevich was the only candidate in the Democratic primary who campaigned statewide. After his primary victory, he continued to raise money at a staggering rate, $26 million in all. In the general election, Blagojevich constantly hammered on the need to end Republican corruption and restore the state's honor.

From the beginning of his first term, it appeared that Blagojevich wanted to be more than just the governor of Illinois. He hired a former Bill Clinton adviser to write his inaugural address and shape his public message. By promising not to raise taxes and to provide universal access to health care, he hoped to catch the eye of those beyond Illinois as a different kind of Democrat.
His dream was to be on a stage in November 2008, playing the role that turned out to be that of Barack Obama and Joe Biden.

It wound up that he did go national in 2008, but not in the way he had hoped.

Blagojevich's rhetoric and his leadership style caused problems in the state Capitol in Springfield immediately. He always presented conflicts over policy as morality plays. No matter what the issue, it was always "Sir Rodney the Good" vs. the forces of evil.

He loved to pull political surprises and demonstrated disdain for legislators. After winning a second term, he proposed a massive gross receipts tax on businesses as a way of dealing with the overwhelming deficit in the state budget without raising taxes on "the working people."

The idea had never been mentioned in the campaign or discussed with the legislative leaders before the speech. Ultimately, the proposal went nowhere.

In 2005, federal subpoenas began arriving at state agencies and the governor's office, looking into hiring practices and state contracts. Over the past three years, the governor has spent more than $2 million from his campaign fund on legal fees.

What saved Blagojevich politically in 2006 was his extraordinary ability to raise money. He raised $29 million, while his Republican opponent, State Treasurer Judy Baar Topinka, raised less than $11 million. Blagojevich won a bare majority of the vote in a three-way race.

By spring 2008, most Illinois citizens had concluded the governor was doing a terrible job. His approval rating was at 12 percent.

Still, most people assumed we were stuck with him for two more years. The tapes described in the federal criminal complaint last week confirmed what many in Illinois had suspected for a long time. The real Rod Blagojevich has been running the state like a Chicago ward boss, according to the complaint.

In the end, he brought himself down by ignoring the reality of a federal investigation aimed directly at him. If he is convicted of a crime, we will be rid of him not because we exercised collective wisdom at the ballot box, but because he turned out to be an even more incompetent crook than he was a governor.

Gov. Blagojevich is the fifth of the last eight elected Illinois governors to be charged with a felony. If Blagojevich is convicted, we will have the unique distinction of having two former governors in jail at the same time. Why is this happening again?

Illinois has extremely weak campaign finance and ethics laws, with no limits on the amount of campaign contributions. The law that takes effect in January prohibiting contributions by people who already hold large ($50,000 or more) state contracts to the public officials who are responsible for awarding such contracts is a small first step.

But greater changes are needed. Limiting all contributions to $1,000 would make "pay to play" in the granting of state contracts or the selling of a U.S. Senate seat much less profitable or tempting.

Making corruption more difficult only takes you so far. People are more likely to obey the law if they believe it is wrong to break the law -- in addition to the chance they might get caught. We need to change the political culture in Illinois -- the attitudes and beliefs we share about the nature of politics. Too many Illinois citizens and politicians believe that politics is solely about power, winning and personal gain.

The charges filed against the governor only reinforce the idea that politics is and always will be a dirty business. But culture does change. The prominent role that racism has played in our national culture is slowly and begrudgingly giving way to new attitudes and beliefs and a new reality. Illinois' culture of political corruption does not have to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Two years ago, most Illinois citizens suspected what they now know about Rod Blagojevich. But on Election Day, fewer than 37 percent of the eligible voters in Illinois went to the polls and a majority of them elected him to another four-year term. In order to fix Illinois politics, we need to start by taking a long look at ourselves in the mirror.

Source: http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/12/15/redfield.illinois/index.html

Our neighbors across the street have turned out to be really nice people and they got Riley a nursery rhyme book when she was born. I've been trying to read it to her as much as possible, despite the fact that she doesn't seem to have too much interest in it. Anywho, as I'm reading some of these nursery rhymes, I'm realizing how morbid and just plain not nice they are. Case in point...

First one is actually one I started singing to myself when I walked down the hall in my office building yesterday and noticed it was raining:

"It's raining, it's pouring.
The old man is snoring.
He went to bed,
And he bumped his head,
And he couldn't get up
In the morning!"

So...the poor old man fell out of bed and he'll soon be on the wrong side of 6' feet of dirt? And we're singing about it? Sadists...

"Rock-a-bye, baby,
On the treetop,
When the wind blows,
The cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks,
The cradle will fall.
And down will come baby,
Cradle and all."

So, first things first, why is the kid in a cradle at the top of a tree to begin with? Second of all, why are none of us concerned that the baby has fallen out of said cradle from the top of said tree?

"Dickery, dickery, dare,
The pig flew up in the air.
The man in brown
Soon brought him down!
Dickery, dickery, dare."

Now, I've never heard this one, although I'm being told that it's sometimes used as the second verse of Hickory, Dickory Dock. Anywho, the pig is flying and the man in brown shoots him down, I'm assuming? I like pork just as much as the next guy, but so much is supposed to happen once pigs really do fly - why do we want to keep all that from happening?? Plus, who are we to keep a good pig down?

"Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum!
I smell the blood of an Englishman.
Be he 'live or be he dead,
I'll grind his bones to make my bread."

I think that one pretty much speaks for itself. Although, he names an Englishman specifically...why's it gotta be a racial thing?

"Goosey, goosey, gander,
Whither shall I wander?
Upstairs and downstairs,
And in my lady's chamber.
There I met an old man
Who wouldn't say his prayers!
I took him by the left leg
And threw him down the stairs."

All because he wouldn't say his prayers...I thought we came here to free ourselves from religious persecution.

"There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth without any bread,
Whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed."

When you get to the point where you have so many kids that you don't know what to do - get a TV in the bedroom or something...and stop having kids. Child abuse and neglect is just inexcusable.

There are probably more (Ring Around the Rosey is about bubonic plague), but you get my point...

If we could talk one-on-one, I’d ask you why. I’d ask you why there was no explanation and I’d ask you what it was I did (or didn't do). I’d ask you for closure. And I’d ask you not to judge me for needing it.

I'm waiting for my order this morning at Panera and this woman walks up to me and says, "Are you waiting?" Nope...juuust keeping an eye on the bagels - making sure they don't do anything shady.

Here's your sign...

I've been trying to figure out how to post a blog about rude people and the things they to do deem themselves as rude, by my definition of it. Leave it to Oprah to get the ball rolling for me...

** This is only the tip of the iceberg for the things that people do that annoy the crap out of me... **


(OPRAH.com) -- Fed up with the rude behavior you experience day in and day out? Is it aggressive driving, co-workers who don't wash their hands or smokers who use the sidewalk as their personal ashtrays?

Oprah says she can't stand people who are rude to service workers.

What about the sales clerks who ignore you -- then act like they own the store when you finally get their attention?

It's time for a return to civility! In "O, The Oprah Magazine," Oprah asked Jerry Seinfeld about his biggest pet peeve. Turns out, it's a lack of civility.

"Nobody's ever said that as an answer in all the years I've asked that question," Oprah says.

Jerry's top three? Cutting people off on the road, BlackBerry or cell phone abuse and interrupting while someone is talking.

Oprah agrees with Jerry about offensive cell phone behavior -- and she has a few rude behaviors to add to the list. "Mine are people who are chewing gum with their mouth open. I don't want to see it," Oprah says. "I also can't stand it when people are rude to service workers because I think you show who you are by how you treat people who are serving you."

Audience member Nancy says she got a rude awakening in the last place any woman would expect -- at the gynecologist. "I was at my gynecologist's office and I put my legs in the stirrups, totally exposed," she says. "His cell phone went off and he answered it. It was not an urgent conversation, and it went on for seven to 10 minutes."

Nancy says she was so shocked she couldn't even say anything! "I never went back," she says.

As a Transportation Security Administration (TSA) agent, audience member Stephanie sees about 2 million people every day -- and plenty of bad behavior. "We call them 'special,'" she says.

Stephanie says rude travelers take their anger out on TSA agents, sometimes even calling them names, simply because they're there. One time, Stephanie says a customer hurled a bottle of cologne at her head. "This is after I told him that he couldn't take the bottle of cologne onto the plane because it was after the liquids restriction," she says. "He was just so incensed that it surprised me."

One tip Stephanie has for travelers looking to get to their gates faster is to put away those cell phones! "[When] you're waiting to get a person's I.D. and check their tickets and they walk up to you on the phone and they're ignoring you like you don't even exist," she says, "you don't want to be rude and interrupt their conversation, but they're also being inconsiderate for the other passengers in line."

Eighty percent of Americans think rudeness is a serious national problem, but 99 percent of the same people say that they themselves are not rude.

Oprah takes the quiz with members of the audience. The first question is: Are you chronically late? Oprah has to admit, "My answer would be sorta kinda," she says.

Oprah says her friend and trainer Bob Greene once taught her an important lesson about being on time. "When I first started working out with him, I was late. I was chronically late," she says. "And I was late one day, and he said, 'If this ever happens again, I will never work out with you, because my time means as much to me as yours means to you. So you either get here on time or find yourself another trainer.' And I went, 'Okay.'"

How many times have you run in and out of the gas station? Ever think about what it's like to be on the other side?

Shannon is the mother of three and works as a clerk at a gas station. "I think people are rude when they're having a bad day, and they don't expect to ever have to see you again, so they say what they want," she says. "I used to be a rude customer. I would talk on the cell phone while someone was trying to help me. I don't do that anymore because now I'm on the other side of the counter."

She's nicknamed some of her rudest customers "the tossers." "What they do is instead of handing me their cash, they toss it at me," she says. "I've had people toss it so hard it's actually flown off my side of the counter."

There are also "the messers." "They come, they get what they want, they leave their mess, and then I have to clean it up," she says. "I wonder if they do that at home."

But by far, Shannon says the rudest thing that's happened to her at work was getting cussed out by a woman whose credit card was declined. "I ended up having to flag down a police officer to have her escorted out," she says. "Sometimes I feel like a human punching bag because customers take things out on me that are not my fault."

According to Dr. P.M. Forni, everyone can improve the quality of their relationships and lives by choosing to be more considerate, courteous and polite.

For the past decade, Dr. Forni -- a professor at Johns Hopkins University and author of "Choosing Civility: The 25 Rules of Considerate Conduct" and "The Civility Solution: What to Do When People Are Rude" -- has been on a mission to promote gracious behavior.

"The quality of our lives is about treating each other well in every situation. We are all the trustees of one another's happiness and well-being in life," he says.

Dr. Forni says modern society is structured in a way that actually amplifies and encourages incivility. "We are stressed, we are fatigued and we are in an anonymous environment. Stress and anonymity are two very, very common causes of rudeness," he says. "Especially when they are together, like in traffic."

In "Choosing Civility," Dr. Forni uses a quote from motivational speaker Peggy Tabor Millin -- "We never touch people so lightly that we do not leave a trace" -- to illustrate the idea of "respectful persons."

"The principle of respectful persons is the principle upon which all ethical systems have been based from the beginning of humanity, since certainly the last 2,000 years," he says. "[The principle] says that we ought to treat others as ends in themselves rather than as beings for the satisfaction of our own immediate needs and desires."

Dr. Forni says choosing to act in a civil manner has proven more beneficial than self-satisfaction. "I'm not a physician, but any doctor will say that when we are involved in a rude encounter, there are hormones -- like catecholamines, for instance, cortisol -- that are cascading into our system and they are making our immune system weaker," he says. "If you have a boss that you perceive to be unfair, you're much more likely to have cardiovascular disease."

The bottom line? Going through life rude and angry can make you sick.

If you want to see rudeness in action, one of the best places to look is in the restaurants of America. Kara says she knows one of those rude customers personally -- her sister Jeni is one of them!

"Anywhere we go out to eat, she refuses to sit at tables and she has to sit at a booth. And if they're really busy and she has to wait to sit at a booth, then she complains about having to wait to sit at the booth," Kara says. "If her water glass gets empty ... and they're not immediately there to refill her water, she gets really upset or won't leave a tip because they're not doing their job. And she orders iced tea a lot and she puts sweetener in her tea, and so it gets a certain amount of sweetener. And lots of times the waitress or waiter will come and top off the glass and she gets upset because now her sweetener-to-tea ratio is messed."

Jeni says she doesn't intend to be mean but isn't afraid to tell waiters when something is wrong. "Most of the time, I find something that's not correct," she says.

For nine years, Steven Dublanica was a waiter who experienced his share of difficult customers like Jeni. He recounts those experiences and more in the hugely popular blog Waiter Rant, which he's turned into the best-selling book "Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip -- Confessions of a Cynical Waiter."

Steven says customers certainly have a right to expect good service at a restaurant, but it's not their right to be rude. "When you get to the point where you're picking on everything, that becomes a control issue because you're really trying to control everything around you," he says. "And it's not going to work."

Steven says he thinks some people feel license to be rude to waiters because of the nature of the interaction. "It's a servant job. You know, we're bringing food to a table and we're getting tips in return. That's fine. I don't have a problem with that," he says. "But when people start thinking that we're not human, that we're slaves, that we don't have feelings? Sometimes when people treat us that way it hurts."

When you hurt your waiter's feelings, Steven says you might find yourself on the receiving end of a bit of revenge ... but it may not be quite as bad as you think. "I think the one everyone is scared of is spitting in the food. I think very few waiters do that in actuality," Steven says. "I had a rule when I was waiting. My rule was, 'If I couldn't give it to my mother, I didn't give it to my customer.'"

Steven says there are three things you can do to stay on your waiter's good side.

1. Don't talk on a cell phone at the table.
"I would be coming up to a table and saying, 'Here are the specials we have today.' And the phone would ring and they'd go, 'Wait." And then I would [say], 'Can I come back in a minute?' 'Wait,'" he says. "That's very rude behavior."

2. Don't demand a different table on a busy night.
"On a busy night, the hostess has set up the seating plan in a way that it's like the logistics for the Normandy invasion," he says. "If you change one table, everything gets thrown off."
Steven says everyone -- even celebrities -- has to understand what happens in a restaurant during weekends.

"Alec Baldwin ate at my restaurant one time. He came in unannounced. The only table I had was literally by the printer and the two bathrooms," Steven says. "He walked up and I said, 'Mr. Baldwin, this is the only table I have.' And he said, 'No problem.' And he sat down and he took it. ... If Brad Pitt and Angelina came in and it was the only table I had, that would be where I would put them."

3. Don't tip less than 15 percent.
Waiters are paid wages well below the minimum wage -- as little as $2.15 an hour in some states -- with the expectation that they will earn the majority of their income through tips. In addition, some restaurants require waiters to pay around 20 to 30 percent of their tips to food runners, hostesses and bartenders.

"If you don't tip, then that person doesn't get paid," Steven says. "Literally."

$20 says he runs for government office some day in the not-so-distant future...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/11/09/armstrong.cancer/index.html

Man alive...and I thought I took my college football seriously...

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/football/ncaa/11/10/slaying.ap/index.html

I hate it when my husband, who does none of the housework (inside) judges me and gives me sh*t on how I clean our house.

We have one of those Scrubbing Bubbles shower cleaner things. If you’ve never bought one, I’d suggest not wasting your money. It does a decent job, but not worth the ~$19.99 I paid for it. Anywho, my definition of “decent” is that while it cleans the area immediately around it (w/in 6-8”), it doesn’t do a whole lot for the other side of the shower from which it resides. So, on occasion, I’ll move it from one side of our entirely-too-small shower to the other, just for a little change of pace. (It’s a bad sign when your excitement for the week comes from relocating your shower scrubber…but, I digress.) So, yesterday, I moved it from the side it was on to the shower door because the door needs some attention. Now, granted, it is a little in the way if you’re getting into the shower, but how difficult is it to take its little hook and re-hook it on the other side of the shower? So, anywho, Randy looks at me this morning and says, “Why do you keep moving this to right here?” pointing to the cleaner thing. I look at him and say, “Because the door needed cleaned and that thing doesn’t do a very good job outside of its immediate area,” to which he replies, “Oh. Well, it’s in the way.” Really? It’s in the way of you not being in the shower?? I apologize, your royal highness…I’ll do better next time to accommodate you being out of the shower. Or, better yet, how’s ‘bout you shove it in your ear until you do something to help me clean something inside the house?

I'm just sayin'...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! That every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the otherside of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty ! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and it will never need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Got this from a co-worker...all too true in all 32 ways.

Thirty-two things that change when you have a baby

by Rebecca WoolfLast updated: October 2008

What changes when you have a baby? A better question may be: What doesn't change? Here, writer and mom Rebecca Woolf lists her most notable post-baby observations. Then scroll down to read our favorite comments from readers about how their babies changed their lives.

1. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.
2. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid.
3. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.
4. You respect your body ... finally.
5. You respect your parents and love them in a new way.
6. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.
7. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.
8. You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.
9. Your heart breaks much more easily.
10. You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.
11. Every day is a surprise.
12. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)
13. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.
14. You become a morning person.
15. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.

And from our readers...
1. "You discover how much there is to say about one tooth." — Ashley's mom
2. "You finally realize that true joy doesn't come from material wealth." — Anonymous
3. "You now know where the sun comes from." — Charlotte
4. "You'd rather buy a plastic tricycle than those shoes that you've been dying to have." — Sophie's mom
5. "You realize that although sticky, lollipops have magical powers." — Roxanne
6. "You don't mind going to bed at 9 p.m. on Friday night." — Kellye
7. "Silence? What's that?" — Anonymous
8. "You realize that the 15 pounds you can't seem to get rid of are totally worth having." — Brenda
9. "You discover an inner strength you never thought you had." — Ronin and Brookie's mom
10. "You no longer rely on a clock — your baby now sets your schedule." — Thomas' mom
11. "You give parents with a screaming child an 'I-know-the-feeling' look instead of a 'Can't-they-shut-him-up?' one." — Jaidyn's mom
12. "Your dog — who used to be your 'baby' — becomes just a dog." — Kara
13. "You take the time for one more hug and kiss even if it means you'll be late." — Tracey
14. "You learn that taking a shower is a luxury." — Jayden's mom
15. "You realize that you can love a complete stranger." — Dezarae's mom

16. You find yourself wanting to make this world a better place. — Arizona

17. If you didn’t believe in love at first sight before, now you do! — Ciara

I used to be an Operations Manager for a light industrial staffing firm which shall remain nameless. One of the funniest phone calls I ever got was this one. (This may not be verbatim as it’s been a while since this happened, but you’ll get the idea.)

Me: “Thank you for calling *company name*. This is Gretchen, how can I help you?”
Guy: “Yeah, what is your policy on birthdays?”
Me: *brief pause* “I’m sorry?” (At this point I’m thinking, “Um, we have them – is that what you mean??” That’s not what he meant…)
Guy: “What is your policy on birthdays?”
Me: *another brief pause* “Um…in what regards?”
Guy: *sounding annoyed…* “Do you let people off for their birthdays?”
Me: *confused face during pause* “If you have earned enough working hours for vacation time, you can take the day off and use 8 of those vacation hours.”
Guy: “So, you don’t pay people for their birthdays?”
Me: “Not if they don’t have vacation hours accrued.”
Guy: *sounding severely annoyed* “Okay…”

*click!*

I hung up and my Staffing Specialist and I sat there laughing for several minutes. I even had to e-mail out this conversation to a few friends, family members, and co-workers. Entirely too funny not to share.

I’m an admitted member of the grammar police. Take heed – I might be in your area soon…

I once had a co-worker whose grammar was so terrible, I forwarded an e-mail she sent to me (and she copied 6 big wigs in our company) to a few people and my mom responded and asked if she was of another ethnicity. I just about fell out of my chair - she was Caucasian and born and raised in the Houston area…she was just an idiot. Below are some of my favorites of her misuse of the English language…

“Potenent”
Her usage of the word: “{Her daughter} is on {some medication} and it’s so potenent that…” I don’t remember how she finished the sentence, but does it really matter? Potenent. Wow.

“Amplicably”
Her usage of the word: “…I’d like to solve this amplicably.” I think she was speaking to a vendor about an issue with the bill or something and she was trying to be firm and sound intelligent. Yeah. She failed. I believe the word you are looking for, my dear, is amicably. I could be wrong.

“Inlinement”
Her usage of the word: “My wheels are out of inlinement.” Now, this is funny for the obvious reasons, but consider further the fact that her brother was, according to her, an automotive genius. Apparently, that boat missed her port.

There are so many other things that she said/wrote that were so difficult to listen to/read because she was so lacking on the intelligence factor but I’ll spare you from being exposed to her stupidity. (She once told a co-worker and me that WWIII was coming...the Bible says so. **wide eyes**)


My friend, Mandy, and I like to compare notes on the stupid things we hear people say. One of my favorites from our conversations together…

“Oblivious”
Speaker’s usage of the word: Something along the lines of, “…it should have been oblivious to her.” Um, really? You sure it shouldn’t have been obvious?


I had a co-worker who insisted on intensifying any and every story she told by following every other statement with the word ‘literally,’ - even when it didn't make sense. For example, “She came in and her face was beat red. Literally.” Really? You mean someone beat her with a frying pan until her face was red? That's not cool.

This same co-worker also told me about the "point-settia" sweater she intended to wear to our Christmas party. And then proceeded to fill me in about her daughter doing one thing while "sime-you-taneously" doing something else.


And now, for my biggest grammatical pet peeves...

People who use quotes for “no” reason.

People who Capitalize things for No Reason.

Whose = belongs to/shows possession
Who’s = who is

It’s = it is
Its = belongs to/shows possession

Their = belongs to/shows possession
There = location
They’re = they are

Two = 2
To = location
Too = many/more

Where = location
Were = as in, “Were you using spell check when you sent out this poorly-spelled grammatical nightmare?”


Now, I know I'm not perfect. But for the love of Mother Nature, please use spell check when possible. Please. Or I just might get a beat red face or my head might explode. Literally. And it would be very oblivious to all of you.

I had the following conversation with little, snot-nosed brat working the drive-thru at Taco Bell just a few weeks ago:

He had just given me my bag o’ goodies…

Me: “Is there hot and fire sauce in here?”
SNB: “Um, no. Can’t read your mind.”
Me: *with that look on my face* “Then, may I have some, please?”
SNB: “Sure…” *hands me hot and fire sauce*

I was so pissed. You work in customer service, you little bastard. F*ckin’ act like it and don’t give me smart-assed answers when I ask you a simple question, being that I’m the customer and all. Punk.

I'm going to call out someone I love dearly here, at least to the extent of using him as an example of how saturated our society has become with what I think is a problem. My brother, bless his little, pea-pickin' heart, sent me a text a while back and it hurt my head to read it. I'm not going to publish it here, because it was a conversation between him and me but suffice it to say that he was trying to convey to me that our relationship is better now than it really ever has been and his intention is to keep it like that. Don't get me wrong - totally dig that he feels that way. But because of the way he wrote it, I had to read it 2-3 times over to really get what he was trying to say to me. I even responded to him and said, "I have no idea what you're trying to say." Now, my brother is a sharp guy. He's funny, he's intelligent, he's creative, and apparently, he doesn't realize that he wasn't born or raised in South Central L.A.

After reading it, though, it brought me back to a thought that I keep coming back to the more I watch people (especially young people) and their mannerisms. When did it become cool and acceptable to be ghetto? The clothes. The vehicles (white walls out!) with the music blaring to the point of rattling the internals of my ears. The grammar...ooohhhh, the grammar.

Someone else told me that people in Arlington, TX call it - Ag-town...yo. Seriously?? Because saying all 3 syllables is too much for you? You'd rather shorten it (by one syllable) and add 'yo' to the end (making it, yet again, 3 syllables) because you're a thuggish, middle-class teenager living in the DFW area? Hm. Interesting.

I was in a major department store the other day and this young (16-ish?) kid was walking around with the top of his pants at the middle of his ass (with boxers and briefs sticking out of the top...not sure what that's about, but I'm sure that's because it's a whole other bottle of wine) and he kept pulling them up as he was walking. Not sure why he didn't just wear them correctly or buy a belt. He was in the right place. I'd even help him try them on despite not being paid for it simply because he looked like a jackass. Anywho, yells to someone who turns out to be his girlfriend/wife, "Yo!" and nods towards the door at which point she comes running, they grab hands, and walk out. My heart sank. To me that's equivalent of snapping your fingers or patting your hand on your leg and whistling while you say, "Here, girl...here pretty girl!" I'd slap someone silly if they ever beckoned to me with "Yo..." Beyond that, I'd slap myself for responding with anything other than a look of disgust and my middle finger. And this young thing responded like it was nothing. (I could take this opportunity to get into how young women are raised to feel like they need to appease their man to keep him, but again - that's a whole other bottle of wine...)

I watch some of these kids behaving the way they do and I have to blame the parents. I won't blame the music. If you model yourself after a music video, you have more insecurities than Freud could handle and I won't even try to tell you as much because chances are you won't listen. My parents wouldn't let me leave the house looking like a hobo or a hooker and they had eyes everywhere (much to my chagrin) to ensure that I didn't change my clothes/apply my hooker get-up when I got to where I was going. Now, I recognize that parents can't be everywhere all the time - I totally get that. But, I don't necessarily think it's all just about having a GPS-tracking system on them at all times, be it in the electronic or human form. To me, it's more about self respect. My parents taught me that 'pretty is as pretty does' and that not only meant 'pretty' from the outside, but also from the inside. If I carried and presented myself in such a manner that made people think, "Hm...this chick might have it together," the rest would fall into place. I remember my mom not letting me where these chain-looking earring things because they were 'trashy-looking.' (Looking back now, she was right. At the time, however, she was just being a mean mom...)

Anywho, I won't pretend to be any kind of super parent - I'm 4-months old in this parental gig. But I will say that if my daughter brings home a young man who doesn't know that the pockets of his jeans need to align (ironically enough - they're also proportionate to them) with the cheeks of his ass and that you look like an idiot walking around with a shaggy-dog haircut that makes you unable to look me in the eye without moving said hair from your line of vision, we might have to have a sit-down.

With all of this being said, I'm off to roll in my ride (white walls out, draulics on) wit my biatches and we gonna drink 4t’s and cruise like it aint nuttin but a g-thang through the hood...

Deuce.

Is it funny to anybody other than me that he's got it on his fists backwards?

http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/Movies/11/03/people.joaquin.phoenix.ap/index.html

Riley's got bronchiolitis...she got it after only 2 weeks in daycare. I hate it when I say that I hate daycare and would rather Riley were in in-home care and people try to justify it with, 'The exposure to other germs will help build her immune system.' Is that supposed to make me feel better that my baby is sitting in a germ-infested cesspool? 'Cause it doesn't... And that's all well and good and I understand the need for her to have a strong immune system, but since you're the one who doesn't have as much of a problem with it as I do, does that mean you get to stay home with her when she's sick so that I can go to work and not risk losing my job because I'm missing work?? Since I know that's not the case, I'm going to do what I can to make life easier on not only me, but also my baby girl and see about putting her in in-home care.

I'm just sayin'... :)

The 5 most important words/phrases in a marriage (as I see it):

1. Communication
2. Compromise
3. Intimacy
4. I'm sorry.
5. I love you.

Now that I think about it, these are probably applicable to any relationship...

Thoughts? :)

Mom on trial for leaving kids, flying to Africa to get married
KHOU.com staff report

HOUSTON—Opening arguments are set to begin Thursday morning in the Shanell Mosley trial.

She’s the mother accused of leaving her six children home alone while she went to Africa to get married in January.

Two neighbors’ kids were also at the house in northwest Harris County.

Mosley claims the whole thing is a misunderstanding, and that her sister was supposed to come to Houston to care for the children.

In a jailhouse interview, Mosley told 11 News that her sister never showed up at the home.

Mosely has been charged with child endangerment.

Source: http://www.khou.com/topstories/stories/khou081030_jj_Shanell-Mosley-trial-african-mom.16267b4d4.html



A neighbor posted a comment on this news link stating that the kids were heathens and have destroyed the neighborhood and said that the neighbors were not surprised this happened. Other commenters are stating that she should be sterilized. I have a whole plan related to how to rid the world of all stupidity, but I'll save that one for another time.

I'll step away from my birth control SOAP box long enough to step onto my selfish-people-suck SOAP box and say that this mother renders me speechless. She says the sister didn't ever show up. Then why did you leave?? Irresponsible, selfish, inexcusable and other words that I'm too much of a lady to say despite the fact that she more than deserves them.

I posted this blog on my myspace a few months ago and forgot to save it somewhere before I got tired of the hoopla that is myspace and cancelled my account. Anywho, I'm a live music junkie. Luckily, I have friends and a hubby who are not only as into it as I am, but they help feed the fire. The list of shows I've seen is a fairly extensive one, but this is all I can come up with at the moment. If anyone can think of anyone I've left off of the list, please remind me...I know there are more than what's listed here. In no particular order...



Chicago
Eric Clapton (Twice)
Robert Cray
Derek Trucks
Jonny Lang (The young kid who opened for him was AWESOME. His band didn't make it to the show in time, so he had to go on by himself and I do have to say that he was pretty impressive. Can't remember his name, though... :( )
Willie Nelson (Twice)
Merle Haggard
Bonnie Raitt (Met her - got the picture to prove it; I can die happy now…)
Paul Brady
BB King
Bobby Blue Bland
Jimmy Buffett (**Fins UP** "Fins to the left, fins to the right, and you're the only bait in town...!")
Bob Seger
The Doobie Brothers
Maroon 5
Don Williams (Twice - dude's huge...there's a reason they call him the 'Gentle Giant.')
Kevin Fowler (I've lost count of how many times I've seen him…met him a couple of times, too. He's funny as shit.)
Cory Morrow (Again, lost count…met him a couple of times, too. Seems like a nice guy...)
Pat Green (2-3 times??)
Cowboy Mouth
George Strait (A number of times...)
Brooks & Dunn (Lost count; got to meet them (I can die happy now) – they're freakin' tall!)
Brad Paisley
Alan Jackson
Randy Travis (With the Houston Symphony behind him, at Christmas time. He's pretty gosh-dern funny...and talented, of course.)
Lee Ann Womack
Kenny Chesney
Robert Earl Keen (Lost count on how many times...)
Cross Canadian Ragweed
Johnny Cooper
Django Walker
HoneyBrowne
SheDaisy
Billy Dean
Trisha Yearwood
Jim Gaffigan (Comedian)
Clay Walker (Seen him a couple of times; met him, too…)
Trick Pony (Met them; Heidi's hot…)
LoneStar (Lead singer was rude... :( Maybe he was having a bad day...but still...he was rude to a group of kids (3 boys; ages 8-10ish) trying to get his autograph and that stuck with me.)
Lyle Lovett (Saw him give more of a small 'backstage concert' when he got trampled by that bull, or whatever…he still had the halo on his leg.)
Dave Matthews Band
Live
Journey
Foreigner
Toby Keith
Shenandoah
Keith Urban
Storyville
Southern Culture on the Skids (They have a song called '8-Piece Box' during which they throw fried chicken at the audience. It would be an understatement to call this group 'interesting.' The bassist (kindof hot, funky chick) was wearing a Peg Bundy wig while the lead singer was wearing red, polyester pants with a gray shirt that read, 'To hell with your mountains - show me your (Busch beer logo).' Pretty funny sheet, mane...)

I used to pride myself on not only being opinionated but on also being outspoken with those opinions. With time and age, however, (and hopefully some wisdom and maturity), I've learned that most people don't give a rat's ass as to what my opinion is on most things, which is fine...'cause I don't always care to hear theirs either. :) That being said, I try to leave my mind open enough to listen to them because I’m a firm believer in the theory that I can only grow if I listen to all sides of the story, get all of the information, and then form my own opinions. And lucky for all of us opinionated a-holes, the Internet allows us the chance to spill our guts to all of those bored enough to read them… :)

With the election being 11 days away and the bombardment of political ads not only starting to stream into our hearts and homes 22 months ago (!!!) but with their frequency increasing (what seems like) 4-fold in the last 2-3 days and the possibility that it will only get worse, I can't help but wonder what happens next and it’s moved me enough to try to work it out on paper. I can't help but wonder what we as (hopefully) informed citizens and voters will do in response to the chaos that is our present-day two-party, allegedly-democratic political system. (It’s difficult for me to believe that our political structure is fully democratic when the electoral college is what determines the winner at the presidential level, rather than the popular vote…) It’s sad – I have so many thoughts on so many political issues (and non-political ones), and I didn’t watch any of the debates. I have no desire to listen to why the other guy sucks and I’d much rather turn to the Internet and read your stance on things on your website since I don’t have to listen to you belittle the other guy. But I digress…

As a young, educated voter, I find myself going back to my days in government (in high school and in college) and try to deduce what the organizers had in mind when they started what have become our two major political parties. I can only imagine that what they were looking for is what we all feel we need right now – change – and I recognize how much of a cliché that one word has become, thanks in part to our current presidential candidates. With the other facts I’ve gathered, I’ve come to think that what we really need is a balance of change and compromise, which is where I also like to think that I’ve alienated the problem – politicians aren’t known for their ability to compromise like good, little adults should. I think we’re missing the mark on what those organizers had in mind. Maybe.

While I hate (I use the word ‘hate’) American mainstream journalism and feel that it’s undeniably biased (both ways, depending on which station you watch/read), I do try to take what I believe to be the truth from it and file the rest away in my mental rolodex for possible future access because unfortunately for me (and maybe you), it’s one of the only resources we have (outside of the Internet) to get facts and make our decisions. You hear that both sides of each election (local and federal alike) suck for this reason and that and that Bill doesn’t deserve the honor of serving his citizens because he clubs baby seals when he’s not leaving every light in his house on and is the sole cause for the global warming crisis, but on the other side of the river is Sylvia and she doesn’t deserve it either because she wants to open up our borders to every immigrant and refugee in the world and grant them amnesty simply because they weren’t born in the U.S while she’s also crusading for an alternative energy source because the oil and gas industry is to blame for all that is evil in the world – even the clubbing of baby seals. With all of that being said, I’ve come to think that that’s the very problem with our system – we have only 2 choices in just about every election. Yeah, we’ve got the independents who are doing their damndest to find the middle ground and a valid compromise (and I whole-heartedly applaud them for it because I think they’re onto something), but let’s be honest – at this point, the independents have about as good of a chance of getting elected as those poor baby seals do of not getting clubbed by that evil Bill guy. Right-wing conservatives be damned, the left-wingers want to change it all to fit the needs of what has unfortunately become the majority (those who feel that they are owed something simply because they woke up this morning on the right side of the dirt) while ignoring the needs of what I like to call the majority-minority (i.e. the middle class who seems to get stuck with the bill at every party, whether that party be for the upper-class or the lower-socioeconomic portion of our population). Left-wing liberals be damned, the right-wingers are going to dig in their boot heels before they’ll open up their minds enough to maybe consider the fact that someone outside of their echelon might need some help. Now don’t get me wrong – I’m about helping people, not enabling them, and at some point, some people have a tendency to wear out their welcome by taking advantage of someone’s generosity. There’s a reason we have the word ‘mooch’ in our vocabulary. But what I am against is punishing the innocent based on the ‘one bad apple spoils the bunch’ approach.

Personally, I couldn’t care less if Joe the Plumber isn’t a licensed plumber and his first name is really Samuel. Sam the plumber still has a point when he wants to know why anyone would be justified in taking more of his hard-earned money and giving it to the lazy-ass down the street simply because Sam makes over $250K a year and the lazy-ass down the street refuses to get up off of his lazy ass and flip burgers at BK because he would rather watch Judge Judy during the day ignoring the fact that his minimum wage job at BK will help him pay his bills and teach his children that with hard work comes the reward of self-fulfillment in the form of being able to pay your own bills and the idea that you are the only one responsible for your own happiness. I don’t think the problem is in the tax structure, though, in the form of who gets taxed more and who gets taxed less. The problem is in where our money goes. Please raise my taxes when you want to ensure that my children are educated the best they can be by happy teachers who make what a professional athlete makes. Please raise my taxes when you want to fix my roadways and when you want to ensure the safety of me and my family through the utilization of happy police officers and firefighters and first responders who make the $250K a year that the president makes – not only through his/her term in office, but for the rest of his/her life. (Which brings me to another question…since the president makes $250K a year, under OB’s tax plan, will the president be taxed more??? Hm…) But I digress. Don’t raise the taxes of those who work(ed) hard to make the money they’re making only to turn around and give that money to people who did nothing to deserve it.

There’s now speculation that BO wasn’t born in the US, thereby negating his eligibility to be president and that his trip to visit his ‘sick grandmother’ is really a birth-certificate-finding trip. Only BO and his family know…but I’m curious to see what happens on this one. And a co-worker brought up a good point – if it turns out that BO was in fact born elsewhere and is eliminated from the race, does Biden become the Demo candidate or does McCain automatically win? I asked if maybe Hillary steps in since she was the next largest candidate in line for the Demo nod.

The war in Iraq… We’ve been hornswaggled. I’ll leave it at that.

Pro-life vs. pro-choice? My body is my body. I don’t need, nor do I want, some fat bastard on Capitol Hill who has 3 mistresses and 4 secret bank accounts in the Caymans telling me that I don’t have the right to make decisions about my medical and/or mental health because to have an abortion is immoral. If you want to use morality as your backbone, practice it – don’t just try to preach for your own job security. But beyond that, my body is not a government or legal issue. Either we follow HIPAA and practice the ideal of confidentiality and my personal information is just that – personal – or we don’t and we become Russia. I do think, though, that if you outlaw abortion, you’re condemning young women who feel they have no other options (which is sad in its own right) to back alleys and coat hangers. I hate to be so crass about it, but please understand that my extreme visualization comes from my passion on this issue.

The bank bailout…utter crap. They’re the ones who got themselves in this mess in the first place. Why should I be responsible (‘cause let’s be honest – we as consumers will end up funding that $770B bill somehow…) for their fiscal stupidity and carelessness? I don’t see the government coming to help pay my credit card bills… I like the guy who said that they need to take the $85B they gave to AIG and divide it up amongst tax-paying citizens over 18. He did the math (and I’ll be honest, I didn’t check it, but…) and it came out to ~$295K per person – after taxes. Still owe on your mortgage? Pay it off and the housing crisis is solved. Outstanding loans that you shouldn’t have been given by WAMU and Wells Fargo? Pay it off and the lending crisis is solved. The sad part is it was suggested by the common man…congress would never go for it.

I’ve also noticed that neither of the candidates is addressing immigration. But I will. :) In a country built on the promise of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness of immigrants from Spain, Germany, Italy, and so on and so forth, we can’t lift our collective leg and pee around the border of our country and not expect a dog fight. I’m not saying we open the borders and dump the baby out with the bathwater, but what I am saying is that we are a society in which innovation and advancement are not only encouraged, they’re the basis of a promising future that we all hope for ourselves and our children and their children and so on and so forth. Those advancements and that innovation have come from those we used to consider our enemies (I refer to the black doctor who invented the open-heart surgery procedure whose name totally escapes me at the moment as just one example). I’m not saying that every immigrant jumping the borders into this country will be the one to find the cure for cancer and by no means am I saying that someone looking to come to this country and make a better life for themselves and their family should be allowed to ignore the rules of this country in regards to immigration and citizenship and still be allowed to stay. But I am saying that either we’re a world power and accept the idea that there will be those who want a piece of our economically-sound pie, or, we’re just like everyone else. We can’t have it both ways. If we accept our place in the world, we need to find middle ground on living up to the ideals of the Constitution we like to use and abuse. But, please…in that middle ground, make it a requirement that those who come to this country learn the language. If I plan to move to Russia, you can bet your sweet ass that I’m going to learn Russian.

My point in all of this is that our system needs an overhaul. We need regular people – not politicians – in office and making decisions. Our 2-party system is partially what’s to blame for the status of our political debacle at the moment, as I see it, and we as voters need to find a way to compromise and band together to try to fix it – or at least band together long enough to get our voted officials to change it. Like it or not, we are far too diverse of a country to be so polar-minded in our politics. McCain mentioned on one episode of ‘The View’ (I was watching out of lack of anything else to watch – don’t judge me…) that if elected, he intends to go back to the Constitution for guidance in any tough issues that face him and interpret it word-for-word. Whoopie’s response was, ‘So, should I be worried about becoming a slave?’ or something along those lines. Extreme? Probably. Does she have a point? Absolutely. We can look to the ideals on which this country was built as guidance, but it has to be with the understanding that those words were written 200+ years ago and may need some outside-of-the-box thinking applied to them being that our society has changed in so many ways, those words in their purest form are not enough. Our founding fathers probably hoped for the advancement that we have seen. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t have built the country on the ideals they did giving us the opportunities for open-minded and outside-of-the-box thinking that we have. But they couldn’t have foreseen how far and in what ways we would come. Their ideas are simply suggestions on which to base our actions and performance, and I like to think they’d hope that we would recognize them as such and use them to encourage more growth for our own futures.

I’m Gretchen Rau. And I approve this message.