I’m an admitted member of the grammar police. Take heed – I might be in your area soon…
I once had a co-worker whose grammar was so terrible, I forwarded an e-mail she sent to me (and she copied 6 big wigs in our company) to a few people and my mom responded and asked if she was of another ethnicity. I just about fell out of my chair - she was Caucasian and born and raised in the Houston area…she was just an idiot. Below are some of my favorites of her misuse of the English language…
“Potenent”
Her usage of the word: “{Her daughter} is on {some medication} and it’s so potenent that…” I don’t remember how she finished the sentence, but does it really matter? Potenent. Wow.
“Amplicably”
Her usage of the word: “…I’d like to solve this amplicably.” I think she was speaking to a vendor about an issue with the bill or something and she was trying to be firm and sound intelligent. Yeah. She failed. I believe the word you are looking for, my dear, is amicably. I could be wrong.
“Inlinement”
Her usage of the word: “My wheels are out of inlinement.” Now, this is funny for the obvious reasons, but consider further the fact that her brother was, according to her, an automotive genius. Apparently, that boat missed her port.
There are so many other things that she said/wrote that were so difficult to listen to/read because she was so lacking on the intelligence factor but I’ll spare you from being exposed to her stupidity. (She once told a co-worker and me that WWIII was coming...the Bible says so. **wide eyes**)
My friend, Mandy, and I like to compare notes on the stupid things we hear people say. One of my favorites from our conversations together…
“Oblivious”
Speaker’s usage of the word: Something along the lines of, “…it should have been oblivious to her.” Um, really? You sure it shouldn’t have been obvious?
I had a co-worker who insisted on intensifying any and every story she told by following every other statement with the word ‘literally,’ - even when it didn't make sense. For example, “She came in and her face was beat red. Literally.” Really? You mean someone beat her with a frying pan until her face was red? That's not cool.
This same co-worker also told me about the "point-settia" sweater she intended to wear to our Christmas party. And then proceeded to fill me in about her daughter doing one thing while "sime-you-taneously" doing something else.
And now, for my biggest grammatical pet peeves...
People who use quotes for “no” reason.
People who Capitalize things for No Reason.
Whose = belongs to/shows possession
Who’s = who is
It’s = it is
Its = belongs to/shows possession
Their = belongs to/shows possession
There = location
They’re = they are
Two = 2
To = location
Too = many/more
Where = location
Were = as in, “Were you using spell check when you sent out this poorly-spelled grammatical nightmare?”
Now, I know I'm not perfect. But for the love of Mother Nature, please use spell check when possible. Please. Or I just might get a beat red face or my head might explode. Literally. And it would be very oblivious to all of you.
I once had a co-worker whose grammar was so terrible, I forwarded an e-mail she sent to me (and she copied 6 big wigs in our company) to a few people and my mom responded and asked if she was of another ethnicity. I just about fell out of my chair - she was Caucasian and born and raised in the Houston area…she was just an idiot. Below are some of my favorites of her misuse of the English language…
“Potenent”
Her usage of the word: “{Her daughter} is on {some medication} and it’s so potenent that…” I don’t remember how she finished the sentence, but does it really matter? Potenent. Wow.
“Amplicably”
Her usage of the word: “…I’d like to solve this amplicably.” I think she was speaking to a vendor about an issue with the bill or something and she was trying to be firm and sound intelligent. Yeah. She failed. I believe the word you are looking for, my dear, is amicably. I could be wrong.
“Inlinement”
Her usage of the word: “My wheels are out of inlinement.” Now, this is funny for the obvious reasons, but consider further the fact that her brother was, according to her, an automotive genius. Apparently, that boat missed her port.
There are so many other things that she said/wrote that were so difficult to listen to/read because she was so lacking on the intelligence factor but I’ll spare you from being exposed to her stupidity. (She once told a co-worker and me that WWIII was coming...the Bible says so. **wide eyes**)
My friend, Mandy, and I like to compare notes on the stupid things we hear people say. One of my favorites from our conversations together…
“Oblivious”
Speaker’s usage of the word: Something along the lines of, “…it should have been oblivious to her.” Um, really? You sure it shouldn’t have been obvious?
I had a co-worker who insisted on intensifying any and every story she told by following every other statement with the word ‘literally,’ - even when it didn't make sense. For example, “She came in and her face was beat red. Literally.” Really? You mean someone beat her with a frying pan until her face was red? That's not cool.
This same co-worker also told me about the "point-settia" sweater she intended to wear to our Christmas party. And then proceeded to fill me in about her daughter doing one thing while "sime-you-taneously" doing something else.
And now, for my biggest grammatical pet peeves...
People who use quotes for “no” reason.
People who Capitalize things for No Reason.
Whose = belongs to/shows possession
Who’s = who is
It’s = it is
Its = belongs to/shows possession
Their = belongs to/shows possession
There = location
They’re = they are
Two = 2
To = location
Too = many/more
Where = location
Were = as in, “Were you using spell check when you sent out this poorly-spelled grammatical nightmare?”
Now, I know I'm not perfect. But for the love of Mother Nature, please use spell check when possible. Please. Or I just might get a beat red face or my head might explode. Literally. And it would be very oblivious to all of you.
hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaha, I have some of those same pet peeves and I'm also probably Guilty of some them as well, I tend to get a little "dramatic" when I write. LOL
Add to your list:
physical year: the actual calendar year
fiscal year: an accounting year
That one makes me a bit nuts to hear adults say something about our physical year ending in the Spring.
My mom told me about one of her former co-workers who made the comment that she loved doubled eggs. When asked, "Are you sure you don't mean deviled eggs?" she replied, "No, they're doubled eggs - they're cut in half, so they're doubled."
Wow.