I struggle when it comes to knowing how to handle confrontation and I always have. I think it's partly due to the fact that even the word "confrontation" is negative and insinuates something difficult and ugly. I've tried to look at it as "addressing the issue" after discussing it with my sister but it hasn't seemed to have helped. This entire lack of action in response to things that upset/hurt/annoy/etc. me has resulted in me becoming the person who goes out of my way to avoid addressing the things that I don't like in order to avoid ugliness which has resulted in me feeling like a welcome mat at times...usually to the same people. I've tried to repeat the mantra "pick your battles" to myself but the difficulty in that (at least for me) comes from finding the line in the sand that says "Battles You Should Fight" to one side and "Lighten Up" to the other. The times when I've grown hair on my nuts and spoken out for myself have garnered a mixed bag of reactions ranging from "no big thing" to "holy hell just broke loose," so looking at it in that light doesn't seem to help me much.
Maybe this is something with which quite a few people struggle and maybe I'll find a way to work through it someday. And maybe Mother Nature made me this way for a reason and I'm just who I'm supposed to be and no matter what, I really need to just take a deep breath and chill the fuck out...
Maybe this is something with which quite a few people struggle and maybe I'll find a way to work through it someday. And maybe Mother Nature made me this way for a reason and I'm just who I'm supposed to be and no matter what, I really need to just take a deep breath and chill the fuck out...
lol, last line.
well, i think people who "like" confrontation (I know how much you like people using quotation marks) are the same ones that lack confidence and friendships! no one likes confrontation but yes some battles you have to fight. There have been plenty of times though, that i fought the battle and then regretted it, which sucks, for me.
about time you post a new blog. it had been forever.
I seem to always regret fighting my battles. My new motto is not responding AT ALL...It is working out okay, except for the fact that I look like I have no backbone. Which is irritating in itself.
And, by the way..Candice, you have no problem leting me know if I have rocked your world in ANY way! lol. I am a comedian.
When I've fought battles and ended up regretting it, it wasn't usually the battle I regretted fighitng - it was how I fought it. Wondering if I just need to find how best to fight them because I definitely feel like there are more issues I need to address, just not 100 sure how to do it.
What do you mean it's how you fought it? Do you mean you think you were too aggressive?
Yeah, B, I was either too aggressive or not aggressive enough - it goes either way depending on the situation and the people involved. And sometimes, it wasn't a matter of aggression - too much or too little. Sometimes, it was just a matter of I could have chosen a more productive and less dramatic way to get my point across.
Clear as mud?? :)
A friend of mine once said to me: "Heath, you need to 'bitch up'. If you don't, nothing changes."
Makes sense, Heath. My main concern always seems to be making sure the other side doesn't end up mad at me/not liking me. I think that's my main problem - I worry too much about what the other side thinks rather than actually addressing what's bothering me.